The Book of UFies – Chapter 3
Jonathan Norburg, Editor
1 And lo, it came to pass that the spirit of UFieness stirred within the bosom of young Sarah of Oz and she didst desirest to see great masses of crystalized water in its natural habitat. 2 And she didst give her war cry of “SSSSSNNNNNOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!” which was heard unto the shores of the New World and, yea, even unto the deep maple forests of the land of “eh?s”. 3 So saying, and with the many good wishes of her friends and fellow UFies she did say unto her PHB, 4 “Yea, thou art a sleazoid ***hole who dost lust a great lust for my bod which thou shalt ne’er touch; 5 therefore, I say unto thee, ‘I’m outta here’” which in the land of UFie is Strine for “Ciao, baby”. 6 And, lo, didst young Sarah terminate her employment thereunto. 7 And she said unto her sister, Keth of the Many Colored Hair, “Hast thou any task which I perform, thereby earning my sustenance?” 8 And Keth of the MCH didst reply, “Oh, sister mine, I shall endeavor to find thee gainful employment with my masters, but beware, for the Evil Guardian of our shores, the dread INS, hath much to say on this matter.” 9. And, lo, Keth of the MCH spake unto her the truth, for yea and verily thus didst the INS spake unto young Sarah, 10 “Thou art not worthy of the visa of work, oh cutest of Aussies, but thou mayest have instead the visa of visiting. 11 Thou mayest see with thine own eyes the glory of the States United, but lingerest thou for no more than 90 days, else we shall send thy tushie back to Sidney most unceremoniously.” 12 And young Sarah of Oz didst reply, with a cry of “I’M NOT CUTE DAMNIT!” 13 And she didst moan and groan and gnash her teeth. 14 And there arose great lamentations from the nation of UFies, weeping and wailing amongst the denizens thereof. 15 And at last young Sarah didst say, “Fine then, I am going unto Canada where I needeth not a visa to find gainful employment.” 15 So saying, she didst hop a flight to Vancouver, BC in the land of Eh?s, the better to drop in on Illiad. Here endeth the Third Chapter of the High Holy History of the UFies.