The Book of Ufies by Jonathan Norburg
Chapter 1
Now hear then, my children, the holy words of the Book of Ufies, chapter one, verses 1 through 11:
1 In the beginning was the net, and the net was /dev/null and without UF. 2 Then Iliad looked unto the net and saw that it was without UF. 3 So seeing, Iliad did a mighty creation create, and lo, the internet was no longer /dev/null, but now contained therein UserFriendly, and it was kewl. 4 And the people of the net saw that it was no longer /dev/null, and lo, there was much rejoicing, and they did feast upon the lamb and the sloths and the orangutans, and the author was told to skip a bit further on, eh? 5 Lo, there came a time when the fans of UF cried out, “We need a place to gather, that we may be one and converse,” and so it was that #userfriendly came to be on the Undernet, and it was good. 6 And some gathered together and said amongst themselves, “Why should IRC have all the fun. Let us make unto ourselves a mail list, that we might converse and flirt with cute ISP sales people in the Land of Oz whilst we work,” or something to that effect. 7 And, lo, in the land of Eh?s there resided a woman, dark of hair and long of whip who said, “Yea, thou shalt have a mail list even as thou desirest, and I shall be thy mistress, and thou shalt call me ‘List Bitch’.” 8 And so saying, she girded up her corset, straightened her garters and caused Mongo to create the maillist, and the people were glad and they rejoiced with great rejoicing, and they did feast upon yams the size of goiters and goiters the size of your head. 9 And soon the people of the maillist and the people of the Irc said amongst themselves, “We are now a great people with many persons of many lands, yea even unto the Land of Oz. 10 It is, therefore that we have a name, that we may become one people united in our devotion to UF and it’s creator, Illiad.” 11 And so they called themselves, at first many names, but finally decided that should callest themselves ‘Ufies’, meaning ‘those who have way too much time on their hands that could be better spent updating their web pages or resumes, rather than flirting with cute ISP workers in Sidney and California.’